Hello lovelies. I’m here to talk about a game called Tales of Vesperia. It’s about a princess who goes out into the world to learn about her fate and to rediscover and fight for her agency. She’s joined by a lesbian mage, a sketchy old man, a dog with more badass than anyone you’ll ever meet, the best written kid of all media and Judith, the only Tales character no one hates. Oh, and I guess Yuri and Flynn are there too. For some reason. And there’s murder involved. Mmmm delicious murder.

tales of everyone is a troll and will trolololol the fuck out of you
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There are other characters like Duke the Furry Antagonist Who Is Too Pretty For This World, Patty Fleur that PS3 Pirate who is actually kind of fun, Kaufman the best non-main character, Yeager the hilarious German-accent villain and Zagi who is a cartoon villain because he can but I’m not going into detail for them.
“But Timmy, I don’t have an Xbox 360/PS3/required console!”. NOT A PROBLEM. Here is a playthrough with just the skits and cut scenes to start you off and here is a useful compilation of links for you to follow through! It’s not actually that long a watch (because you’ll probably skip 95% of battle scenes and exploration scenes) but the first playlist will help you get settled into the story without making you feel you’re missing anything. Vesperia is a stunning looking game with fantastic characters that’ll stay with you. I like to call it Parks and Rec in Fantasy Land. It’s easy to guess who would be who. Please app them.

tales of everyone is a troll and will trolololol the fuck out of you
( Read more... )
There are other characters like Duke the Furry Antagonist Who Is Too Pretty For This World, Patty Fleur that PS3 Pirate who is actually kind of fun, Kaufman the best non-main character, Yeager the hilarious German-accent villain and Zagi who is a cartoon villain because he can but I’m not going into detail for them.
“But Timmy, I don’t have an Xbox 360/PS3/required console!”. NOT A PROBLEM. Here is a playthrough with just the skits and cut scenes to start you off and here is a useful compilation of links for you to follow through! It’s not actually that long a watch (because you’ll probably skip 95% of battle scenes and exploration scenes) but the first playlist will help you get settled into the story without making you feel you’re missing anything. Vesperia is a stunning looking game with fantastic characters that’ll stay with you. I like to call it Parks and Rec in Fantasy Land. It’s easy to guess who would be who. Please app them.